Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
