i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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