No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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