I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
