I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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