Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
