Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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