would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have post one night stand depression
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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