im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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