He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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