The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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