Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
