Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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