I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't think brook has ever known best
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So squirting runs in the family.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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