apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
as a side note pls kill me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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