Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
