I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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