update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Never joke about your clitoris.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
