i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
