Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
