can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
