is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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