I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
