we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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