Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
