i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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