I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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