You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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