I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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