Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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