Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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