Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
