I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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