Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
