At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
