If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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