All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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