I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
