Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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