i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
