Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
