just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
