Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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