first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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