My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
50% drunk capacity currently
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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