dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and she was petting her beer can
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
