I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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