am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
