Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
