yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
