I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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